Dilemma

I constantly find myself in a 'dilemma' in many parts of my life...

Recently it is obvious at work – I feel I just want to give up! This is one side of me at the moment...

Despite all the patience, all the effort, all the care, all the guidance – I just don’t understand the simple mistakes! All the warnings, all the checks, all the trainings seems like not working at all! Howcome? Then I think – when I was at their position – when I was an agent – if only I had a Manager who would guide me... Well I had a few to be honest that really made a difference and of course I do not see myself from a mirror but their performance is the mirror of my management and I feel I am failing...

Then there is the other side of things – I see how my team works from the heart, they are good bunch of girls and boys who have dreams – they are young! They are at the very begining of this road which is a rather steep to reach the top! Should I be more understanding, should I be more supportive...

Either case – I tend to blame myself!

I could not recognize myself at work today – constantly complaining, asking, questioning... As I said – I feel I am failing!!

I am rather ambitious at work – yes - I do not see myself at the mirror – but I hope this ambition is not in a harmful way to others... I am dedicated to success / my business is based on targets. So I really work hard to explain the targets because I think if I manage to explain why – we will manage to achieve the targets... Well currently we are failing!!

Is the above my situation? Am I used, abused, naive and have I lost my voice???

Or is it the mood that I was talking about in my post ‘excuses’ that makes me feel this way???

I am attending a leadership training next week – hope this will my mirror! I love my team, I love my job! It is soooo challenging to have to express your thoughts using a second language but not your mother tongue – How I wish I knew Georgian or if only my staff knew Turkish...

I hope Bob Marley is right – I hope every little thing will be alright... ( with a salute to Lasha! )